


Way Down Hadestown

by phantomthief_fee



Category: Cuphead (Video Game)
Genre: Hadestown AU, Just me having fun, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 03:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19265434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomthief_fee/pseuds/phantomthief_fee
Summary: On the road to Hell there was a railroad track, which carried a train Dice wasn’t eager to catch.





	Way Down Hadestown

So, [@zaraegis](https://tmblr.co/mjxPvQKjVUOG1y3OREGrZ2Q) does a lot of Devildice and likes Hadestown, so I decided I’d write them some Devildice in Hadestown. 

Here’s the [song.](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DgIblTX_XDaw&t=ZTZhODU3MjgzZGUwMzJhMzZjNTRmYTliZDM3MTBmMWFmMDgwYWRjMSxTNWQwUldpaw%3D%3D&b=t%3Abf1mUcY3jG5LyWt2YecXMQ&p=https%3A%2F%2Fqueenofcats17.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F174948918980%2Fway-down-hadestown&m=0)

* * *

_On the road to hell there was a railroad track_

“Aw, come on!” Dice groaned as he heard the train whistle blow. 

_And a train coming up from way down below_

“That was not six months!” He grumbled. 

_Better go and get your suitcase packed_

_Guess it’s time to go_

There had been a time when Dice had dreaded every moment he’d been away from his husband, looking forward to Fall with baited breath. A time when he’d eagerly anticipated the moment he’d fall back into his husband’s arms. But that had been a long time ago. Before the factories, before the cars and grids and pretty baubles that had been thrown at him in an attempt to buy his love. Dice grumbled to himself as he shoved clothing back into his suitcase. He didn’t care if it got wrinkled. There were people in Hadestown who he could have press them. One good thing about his husband’s constant building and innovation was that Dice could enjoy the height of luxury while simmering with distaste towards Hades.

“What’s that sound?” One of the children who lived near his house poked his head in. 

“It’s Fall.” Dice said. Some of the venom in his voice disappeared when he was speaking to the boy. Where was his brother? One was seldom spotted without the other. 

“I don’t get it.” The boy, his name was Cup something, said. “What’s so special about Fall?”

“That’s when my husband comes to take me home to Hadestown.” Dice glanced back to see what Cupface’s reaction to that would be. He’d made friends with the boy and his brother over the summer, they’d just recently moved into town, but he hadn’t told either of them about his true identity. Cupface’s brother, Mug-something, had likely already figured it out though. Cupface’s eyes widened. 

“Wait…Your husband is- You’re married to _**HADES**_?!”

“Precisely.” Dice gave him a wink and turned back to his suitcase. 

“You never told us _**he**_ was your husband!” Cupface clambered through the window, falling on his face. “Why didn’t you tell us?!”

“Never came up.” Dice shrugged, staring at the contents of his bag. He knew Hades would have new suits and bowties waiting for him the moment he arrived back, all shiny and bright and new, but he wanted some of his old favorites to fall back on. He couldn’t forget his favorite crown pin, of course. Now, where had he put it? He started to rummage around. 

“What’s it like down there?” Cupface followed after him, eyes shining in wonder. “Is it as crazy as all the stories say? What are the people like?”

“Down there, it’s a bunch of stiffs. Brother, I’ll be bored to death.” Dice sighed dramatically. “Gonna have to import some stuff, just to entertain myself.” He turned and spun Cupface around before leaning against a cupboard in an almost languishing fashion. “Give me morphine in a tin, give me a crat of the fruit of the vine. Takes a lot of medicine, to make it through the wintertime.”

“Yeah, but what’s it like down there?” Cupface demanded. “Does every dress as nice as you do?”

“Oh, they dress even nicer than I do.” Dice replied, righting himself and closing his suitcase. “Everyone always dresses to the nines down there. It’s always parties and gambling and ambrosia wine down there.” He smiled dreamily.

“Really?” Cupface was on the edge of his seat. 

“No.” Dice’s smile vanished. “It’s a graveyard in Hadestown. He takes in poor souls and makes them work in his factories for the rest of their afterlives. Everybody hungry, everybody tired, everybody slaves by the sweat of his brow.”

“But it must not be like that for you!” Cupface followed after Dice as he picked up his suitcase and headed for the train station. Best not keep Hades waiting. 

“Of course not.” Dice shrugged, watching out of the corner of his eye as the boy struggled to keep up with his long strides. “For me, it really is always parties and gambling and ambrosia wine. Doesn’t mean I’m not aware of how much a shithole that place actually is.”

_Mr. Hades is a mean old boss_

_With a silver whistle and a golden scale_

_An eye for an eye!_

_And he weighs the cost_

_A lie for a lie!_

“There must be some good things about it.” Cupface insisted as they passed a group of singers. Dice smiled at the lyrics of the song. It was a common one about what a crap boss Hades was. Dice wouldn’t admit that he’d been instrumental in making that one a common tune. 

“There are good things about everything.” Dice said, climbing the steps into the station. “But they don’t outweigh the bad.”

“I’d give anything to see it.” Cupface sighed. “I bet it’s beautiful.” 

“It was beautiful…Once upon a time.” Dice’s eyes grew unfocused as he remembered. “He made a garden down there. Just for me. It was all artificial, of course, but it was…It was beautiful. The best thing anyone had ever done for me.”

“If he did that for you, then why do you hate him so much now?”

“Things changed.” Dice said, grip tightening on his suitcase. 

_And your soul for sale_

_Sold!_

_To the king on the chromium throne_

_Thrown!_

_To the bottom of a_

_Sing Sing cell_

_Where the little wheel squeals and the big wheel groans_

_And you better forget about your wishing well_

He would have given his soul for his husband when they’d first been married. He had, in fact. And for the low price of his soul, he’d gained a husband and a kingdom. But it wasn’t enough anymore. Dice knew full well he was a spoiled brat. All his life, he’d been handed anything he’d ever wanted. But all the luxuries had grown….Boring. He knew he was selfish for thinking this, but he didn’t particularly care. He wanted his husband back. He wanted things to go back to the way they’d been before. Before the factories, before the wall…Before Hadestown had grown so big. 

“What changed?” Good lord, Cupface was persistent, wasn’t he? Dice paused to think about it. What had changed? He couldn’t quite put his finger on what it had been. It just seemed as though somewhere along the line, his husband had equated love with material objects. 

“Why are you so curious about this, Cupface?” Dice asked, looking down at the boy. 

“It’s Cuphead.” The boy said. “And I just am.” Just then, a train pulled up at the station. The singers at the station all stopped as the car door opened and a man stepped out. 

_And on the road to hell there was a railroad car_

_And the car door opened and a man stepped out_

_Everybody looked and everybody saw_

_It was the same man they’d been singing about_

“You’re early.” Dice said, folding his arms. 

“I missed you.” His husband rumbled. He leaned down and pecked Dice on the lips. Dice returned the kiss, but only a little.

_Mr. Hades is a mighty king_

_Must be making some mighty big deals_

_Seems like he owns everything_

_Kind of makes you wonder how it feels_

“Well, let’s get this over with.” Dice breezed past him, into the train car and away from Cuphead. 

“What are you staring at?” Hades growled, glaring at Cuphead. 

“N-Nothing, sir!” Cuphead backed up, bobbing his head. He couldn’t help but stare at the ruler of Hadestown with wonder, though. Hades turned on his heel and entered the train car, the doors slamming shut behind him. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit old. It was just me messing around and having fun. Check out @zaraegis’ work. They’re the ones who inspired this.


End file.
